My husband’s job was once ruled by the sun. For five years he worked as a real estate videographer. His job was to capture a home in its best light to help an agent market her listing.
This meant that my husband spent his filming days peering up at the sun, checking his weather app, and dreading the stray cloud. Sometimes, just when the moment seemed right to hit record, a cloud would cover the sun casting long shadows over the eaves and windows, darkening the home and dampening the curb appeal. He’d be forced to wait until the cloud moved, taking the shadows with it.
Though he no longer spends his days judging the position of the sun in the sky, the image of the those shadows drifting across rooflines lingers in my mind.
They remind me of my own experiences with friends, family, and people I respect both personally and from a distance. What seemed like a perfect picture, a beautiful friendship, a godly example, a committed husband, wife, mother, teacher, pastor is suddenly darkened by a shadow clouding what used to look right and dampening my point of view.
So many people I once respected have left me feeling disappointed.
Friends stopped caring. Relationships were betrayed. Marriages ended. Christian leaders led astray. Private sins became public.
Recently, I watched another person I respected from afar step down from their esteemed position for the shadows they hid behind a appealing facade.
It won’t be the last time I’m left in disbelief. The more life I live, the more I see the shadows darken and deepen.
I’m left wondering, is there anyone out there that won’t disappoint me eventually?
Maybe you’ve asked that question too.
There’s not an easy answer. I want to believe some people are still good. I think they are. Some people are reliable. I hope. Surely they would never…but I’ve thought that before. It’s enough to make the most tender heart struggle with cynicism.
Even as I am disappointed by those I’ve esteemed, I am aware of the sinking feeling that I, too, have disappointed others. I’ve wronged people, sometimes in ways I haven’t even seen. I am a human, prone to make mistakes, tempted to sin.
I recently sat in my quiet time listing my disappointments before the Lord. There’s so many. I thought. It’s all so broken. I’m so broken. Feeling close to despair, the Holy Spirit reminded me of something my disillusioned heart nearly forgot. The shadows are real, yes. But we are not without hope.
The shadows lead us back to the Savior.
Like a little ray of light bursting through the clouds of my soul I remembered James 1:17:
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
Our God does not change like shifting shadows.
Unlike the people I’ve admired, God will never disappoint me. There is not a dark unseen side of him I haven’t yet discovered. There’s not a sordid past that will come to light. There’s not a false teaching, an ulterior motive, or a concerning allegation that will dampen my view of him.
In fact, the opposite is true. The deeper my admiration, awe, respect, and wonder, the more I discover layer upon layer of goodness. Only goodness.
The truth that God is immutable, that he doesn’t change, emboldens us to trust him more. It invites us to lean into him with the desperation of our disappointments. It has the power to soften our cynical hearts.
There is no shadow of turning with him.
I’ve been thinking of James 1:17 as I watch the shadows around me shifting, growing, exposing. The light is always changing.
Today, may our souls rest, knowing there is one good one. One who won’t disappoint us. One who never changes. One we can trust completely. Maybe the answer is simple, after all. The answer is Jesus, only Jesus.