Rest. We all know we need it, most of us long for it, but there are some seasons of life when it feels like an impossible luxury instead of a practical lifestyle. I think I’ve been in one of those seasons for the last seven years. As a homeschooling mom of three, 7 and under, a wife to a husband in full-time ministry, and a writer and speaker, it’s hard to come up for air most days. Maybe your season looks different, but you feel the same way. How can we find meaningful rest when we can’t even catch our breath?
Rest isn’t just a mantra of self-care, it’s a mandate of scripture. The standard for Sabbath rest rest was given in the 10 Commandments, repeated throughout the Old Testament and reiterated in the Gospels. Jesus discusses the Sabbath often and we see his heart for rest and restoration when he invites his followers to lay down their burdens in Matthew 11:28. “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
It’s simple, really, Jesus calls us to rest because he knows it’s good for us spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Initially it seems like rest is a pretty simple command to obey. But the reality is, it doesn’t happen without a little effort, especially in a busy season. In this blog post, want to offer you 5 practical ways I’ve learned to practice rest in the middle of my crazy, chaotic life.
1. Fast from social media
I often don’t have the opportunity to set aside an entire day for Sabbath rest (the kids still need to eat, apparently…), but I do set aside one day a week were I try to practice a different routine. Step one of that routine is to fast from social media.
My whole day starts differently when I don’t grab my phone, hit the Instagram app, and start scrolling. I have to discipline myself throughout the day to keep the familiar apps closed and resist the urge to check the little red notifications that taunt me. But by the end of the day, I’m always amazed at how detached I’ve become from my phone. I find it a badge of honor that I lose my phone the most when I fast from social media. It means I’m not attached to it, at least for a day, and it’s so freeing.
Fasting from social media offers me emotional rest from taking on the burdens and difficulties of the world around me. Although I want to care and support people and causes, we were never meant to carry the weight of so much information 24/7. Focusing on my own little world allows me to meet tangible needs for the precious people in my life with simple things like a text to a friend or an extra snuggle with my toddler.
2. Go outside
I consistently underrate the power of nature to lift my spirits. Going outside is so simple it’s forgettable, but it’s so important. Sometimes all we can manage in a day is a walk around the neighborhood, but that 30 minutes of Sabbath rest can do wonders. There’s something about the scraping sound of footsteps against pavement, the rustle of leaves, and the unexpected breeze across our cheek that brings delight to our weary bodies.
When I’m tired, I’m usually tempted to lay on the couch and scroll my phone, but that habit never restores my energy. I try to force myself, instead, to walk outside, let the sun warm my face, take a deep breath, and soak it in.
p.s., fellow moms, the same is true for our kids. Going outside for even 10 minutes is often the perfect way to reset attitudes and creativity in our little ones for the day.
3. Take the offer
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned down an offer for help from my Mom or husband to watch the kids so I can go out on my own because it felt like too much trouble to coordinate times, get the kids out the door, or arrange plans for dinner in my absence. Not to mention the stress of unfolded laundry, homework, and a messy house that I should be cleaning.
Sometimes taking a break feels like more effort than our normal routine. And while it does usually require me to plan ahead, I’m learning to say yes to the offers to rest. I never regret it when I do. In motherhood, especially, it is difficult to know how much we need a break until we distance ourselves for a short time. Resting helps my perspective, attitude, and motivation. It’s OK to take someone up on their offer!
4. Let some things go
By its definition, when we rest it means work isn’t getting done. The house will probably be messy on the days we choose to rest. Laundry will be unfolded, dishes will accumulate in the sink, toys will linger under the couch.
It’s taken me nearly all seven years of being a parent to learn this little secret: “It’s OK.”
I can do the dishes tomorrow. There will always (always!) be another load of laundry to fold. The toys will get picked up, eventually. Resting is more important than maintaining the illusion of perfection in our homes. Stay at home mothers, especially, must remember that there are no natural breaks in our schedule. We don’t get weekends or holidays. We must carve out time off for ourselves. That time might mean the kids watch a little too many Netflix cartoons and eat cereal for dinner one night of the week. In my life, it probably means I’ll have housework and homeschool to catch up on the next day. But remember the secret: it’s OK.
While I don’t like the idea of work left undone, the reality is, we only have two options – voluntary rest or burnout. If we work for too long without resting we will eventually loose our motivation and perseverance. Resting doesn’t mean the work never gets done, it means it will get done later, and sometimes that is the healthiest gift we can give our families.
5. Integrate spiritual intimacy
I placed this practice last intentionally, though it is by far the most important. The steps above are valuable on their own to offer physical, mental, and emotional rest, but without true spiritual rest, our restless souls will never be satiated.
Spiritual intimacy is rooted in spending consistent time in prayer and studying God’s word. The problem is these simple tasks seem to become nearly impossible in our busy seasons. I make it a goal each morning to wake before my children and start my day with the Lord, but often my time is cut short by little footsteps down the stairs from sleepy bedheads in nightgowns begging for breakfast and snuggles.
Integrating spiritual intimacy is the practice of carrying that morning quiet time moment into the even the most chaotic parts of my day. Practically, it looks like looking for ways to practice gratitude, offering imperfect, but consistent prayers, and simplifying scripture study. While I usually can’t dive into a deep Bible study on a random Tuesday morning, I can cling to one verse.
One simple verse, often only a short sentence, becomes fuel for my day. That verse is something lovely, beautiful, true, and good, I can focus on when the day gets tough (Philippians 4:8). It’s my spiritual sword to fight against the powers of darkness that wage war in my mind (Ephesians 6:10-18) As I meditate on it, it unfolds in ways I don’t expect and reminds me that God’s word is living and active (Hebrews 4:12). Holding onto one verse for a day, or even a week, offers my soul a lifeline to the rest that is found in the presence of God, even when I can’t physically rest my body.
If you find yourself in a busy season, rest is not beyond your reach. When we are willing to get creative, give ourselves grace, and reach out for help from others and Jesus, we get the sustenance we need to keep going. I hope these practical tips can be a guide to help you toward true rest and renewal today.
To help you on your way, I’ve added an Integrating Spiritual Intimacy worksheet to my content library just for you! It includes a place to write your verse for the day (or week!), a guided breakdown of the verse for further study, and a space to journal prayer requests or list little moments of gratitude. To access my private, free content library, sign up below!